Burn (Breathless #3)

Burn (Breathless #3) Page 22

She didn’t seem to have as long to wait this time, which either meant he’d waited longer to call her or perhaps she’d relaxed enough in their routine that each minute didn’t feel as though an hour was passing.

As soon as she heard the elevator open, she swung her legs over the couch and slipped to her knees on the thick, fur rug in front of the sofa.

When hers and Ash’s gazes connected, she felt a jolt at the intensity in those brilliant green eyes. They were hard, but appreciative. Dark, so dark it made her shivery. If his expression was anything to go by, this hadn’t been the best day in the world, but he seemed very satisfied to find her waiting on her knees, even if he’d told her he didn’t expect her to kneel.

He stalked toward her, discarding his briefcase with a thump on the floor. He also pulled off his suit jacket and tossed it toward the armchair and immediately began unbuttoning his sleeves.

When he stopped in front of her, she put her hands up, sliding them to his fly, and his eyes flared in surprise.

“What are you up to?” he asked softly.

She smiled. “I’m welcoming you home. Just stand there and enjoy it.”

“Oh hell,” he breathed out.

She unzipped his pants and impatiently shoved them down over his hips and then dove into his boxers, gently pulling his rigid erection free of confinement. She licked her lips, anticipating that first taste of him. The feel of so much hard flesh over her tongue.

“Jesus, Josie. You licking your lips like that is about to drive me crazy.”

She smiled again just as she guided the broad head of his penis to her mouth. “That’s the idea.”

He sucked in his breath, a sharp inhalation that was audible in the quiet. She licked the head and then tucked it inside her mouth, sucking gently as she pulled him deeper inside.

“I’ve missed you today,” she whispered as she let his cock slide free momentarily. “Been waiting all evening for you to come home. Wanted to make it special. Something you won’t forget.”

“Guaranteed I’m not forgetting this, darling. Never. Love coming home to you. This week has been the best week of my life.”

Again that giddy thrill attacked her, spreading warmth through her entire body. She loved that he was so open with her. There was no doubting how he felt, that he wanted her. No silly guessing games. No games period. But then, he’d told her that. That he didn’t play games. That they were real. What they did was real. Maybe she hadn’t fully appreciated that at first, but he’d proven to her that he meant those words.

Every day, he didn’t hesitate to tell her how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her, how much he liked having her in his apartment. That he adored her gift of submission and that he treasured the fact she’d given him her trust.

In a week’s time, this had surpassed any relationship she’d ever had in the past. In just one week, Ash had become more deeply entrenched than any other man had. With Michael, their times apart hadn’t felt interminable. She didn’t watch the clock, anxious for the next time she’d see him.

Her heart hadn’t been involved. And now it was. Ash didn’t just own her body. He owned her heart and soul and he’d conquered it in less than a week.

It sounded crazy. Things like this only happened in books or movies. Relationships were tricky things you had to work at. They didn’t just happen. Love didn’t just happen. Did it?

But it had.

She couldn’t love him so soon, could she? Not when they were still learning each other, exploring the boundaries of their relationship.

She was in lust. Definitely. She was definitely in “like” with him. She liked him a hell of a lot. But did she love him? Did she feel as though every minute apart was the most agonizing torture?

It made her crazy, because she knew she was falling hard for this man, but she fought the idea, knowing it was too soon. Knowing there was still too much she didn’t know about this man. She hadn’t even met his friends. His family. Though she doubted that would ever come. He hated them. He’d made no secret about that.

She couldn’t imagine hating her family. She’d adored her mother and mourned her after her passing. But she hated her father, so who was she to judge Ash? But then, she didn’t count her father as family. Because family didn’t bail on you. Not true family.

No, her father was a sperm donor and nothing else.

“Baby, you’re not here.”

Ash’s gentle reprimand brought her abruptly back to the present and out of her scattered thoughts. She glanced up to see him staring down at her, his brows drawn together as he slid his cock from her mouth.

She flushed, guilty that she’d been caught out so easily. There was no hiding from Ash. He saw everything. He was in tune with her moods, her thoughts. It was scary to her that he read her so easily after only a week together.

“What are you thinking about, baby? Because it’s definitely not my dick. Not that what you’re doing doesn’t feel good, but your head’s not in it.”

She sighed and rocked back on her heels, her fingers still wrapped around his length.

“Sorry, Ash. My fault. I was just thinking about a hundred different things.”

She wondered if he’d punish her. It’s certainly what Michael would have done. And his punishments weren’t kinky pleasures. They hurt. They were meant to hurt.

Ash’s gaze narrowed as he continued to study her. “What the hell is going through your head right now? Whatever it is, I don’t like it.”

She pursed her lips, almost allowing the word “nothing” to slip out. It would do no good to deny him. He’d only push her until she gave him the truth. He liked bluntness and honesty. He liked knowing what was going on in her head.

“I was wondering if you’d punish me for zoning out,” she said quietly. “And I was thinking about Michael’s punishments and the fact that he would absolutely have punished me for not giving him my full attention. And his punishments aren’t kinky pleasurable punishments like yours. They . . . hurt. Just hurt. There’s no pleasure in them.”

There was a spark of rage in Ash’s eyes that made her withdraw her hand instinctively. Darkness tracked over his entire face and she immediately regretted the fact that she’d been so honest. She shouldn’t have brought up Michael. Not brought him into Ash’s apartment. Into their lives.

She lowered her gaze, knotting her fingers together between her knees.

Above her, Ash swore but she didn’t look up. Then his hands closed gently around her shoulders and lifted upward until she was standing right in front of him. He pulled his pants up and refastened the fly.

“This is one of those times when we’re going to talk, but we’re going to do it with you in my arms.”

He didn’t look angry, and relief coursed through her. Damn it, but it was hard navigating the waters of a new relationship. Always worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing was exhausting. She didn’t want to screw this up. She was already half in love, okay maybe a lot in love with Ash, and she wanted to see where things would take them.

Ash turned her toward the couch and then sat, pulling her with him. His hands slid over her body, up her arms, before giving her another gentle squeeze. He cupped her face, thumbed the small area right at the corner of her mouth where there was still the faintest hint of a bruise.

“Told you before, I’m not your father. You aren’t my daughter. We aren’t playing daddy/daughter roles here. You’re a grown woman, free to make your own choices. And if that sounds contradictory to the kind of relationship you and I have, it’s not meant to be. You have a choice whether to submit to me. I can’t make you. Can’t force you to make decisions you don’t want to make. Don’t want to make you do that. Ever.

“Which means that I’m not into punishment for things you supposedly do wrong or to displease me. That just makes me an asshole, and that’s not who I want to be with you. Now, when I feel like reddening your ass because it turns us both on? Yeah, I’m down with that. And it’ll happen often if I have my way about it. But as for pulling out a crop and inflicting pain on you for no other reason than you did something wrong, or you pissed me off? Not going to happen. Ever. Because that would make me no better than the bastard who hit you because he was pissed that you dumped him.”

She nodded, understanding where he was coming from.

“Do you really get it, Josie? It pisses me off to think of him meting out pain to you because of a supposed infraction. I am never going to touch you physically or sexually when I’m pissed. I may say shit that hurts you. I have a temper. But I’m not ever going to hurt you purposely.”

Again she nodded, some of the tension lightening in her chest.

His voice lowered until it was soft, his gaze finding hers, warm and tender.

“Baby, what I need you to understand is that your relationship with Michael was not good. It wasn’t healthy. And it’s not indicative of the kind of relationship you thought you were getting with him. Maybe that works for other people, and if it does, more power to them. As long as both the man and the woman are down with it and the woman consents. If that’s what she wants and needs from the guy she’s with, then fine. But it doesn’t work for me. I’m a demanding bastard. You and I both know that. But I’m not so egotistical and arrogant that it’s all about me all the time. If there’s something you don’t like or something you don’t want, then all you have to do is tell me. We’ll talk about it. Figure out if it’s really important. And we’ll find a way to work around it.”

She battled a smile but it broadened her lips and relief registered in his eyes.

“Was going to do this when I got here, but seeing you on your knees, naked and waiting for me . . . Let’s just say I forgot all about what I was going to do. But you’re here in my arms now, and I think this is the next logical step.”

She cocked her head to the side and looked inquisitively at him.

“Let me go get it out of my briefcase.”

He turned, easing her onto the couch, and then slid from underneath her. He strode toward his discarded briefcase, rummaged around for a moment and then returned carrying a long, rectangular box.

He tucked the box under his arm and resumed their earlier position. Him on the couch leaned against the arm with her on his lap, his arms firmly around her. He held the box in front of her so they could both see it and then he carefully opened it, revealing a stunning choker.

She gasped as he took it out and held it up. She knew what it was. He’d told her he was having one made. But she’d never imagined it would be so exquisite.

“I want you to wear this, Josie. I want you to understand what it means.”

“I’d love to, Ash,” she said softly.

He held it up, wrapping it around her neck. She turned so he could fasten it in back and then turned back to him, taking in his fierce expression.

“It’s perfect,” she said. And it was. “It’s absolutely something I would have chosen for myself.”

He smiled. “Yeah, it’s you. It suits you. I wanted something to match your eyes, but I also wanted something that reflected your personality. Your vibrancy.”

Tears bit the corners of her eyes and she sucked in a breath so she didn’t lose the battle and let them fall.

He touched her cheek, stroking tenderly over her skin and then slipped his fingers down to trail over the collar resting at the hollow of her throat.

“Want you to understand what this means, baby,” he said again. “I know it’s fast, but just because it’s fast doesn’t mean it’s not real. I saw my two best friends fall hard and fast. Very fast. I know it can happen and that it can last. I want you and me to last. Not saying we’re there yet. But I want us to get there. And I want you to understand the significance of this collar. In some ways it’s even more important than an engagement ring. Not that you won’t have that too. When it’s time, you’ll have the rock and you’ll have my commitment. But this collar is every bit as important as a ring and those formalities.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” she said, her voice cracking as she stared down at him in awe.

“Say you understand its meaning and say you’ll wear it. Then we’ll get to the other parts of the conversation I want to have with you.”

She nodded and then lifted her fingers to touch the collar. “I won’t ever take it off, Ash.”

Satisfaction gleamed in his eyes and then he pulled her down into a long, breathless kiss. When he pulled away, his eyes were half-lidded and smoky with desire.

“Now, to get back to your relationship with Michael.”

She made a face but he put his finger to her lips.

“I get that it’s not a good subject. I understand you not wanting to talk about it or even being afraid to bring him up when you’re with me. But darling, this is you we’re talking about. I’m not going to pretend that your relationship with him didn’t happen and I’m not that much of an asshole to forbid any mention of your past and the things that affect you. You never have to be afraid to say anything to me. If it concerns you then it concerns me and we talk about it. Got it?”