Torn from You (Tear Asunder #1)

Torn from You (Tear Asunder #1) Page 40

“By the time I was six I was seeing and understanding what she saw, the horror and disgust with who Raul was. She shielded that from me as best she could. I learned patience and persistence from her too, resilience that I was better than all of them. The fighting helped to release my anger at what they were doing to the women, and yes, there were children. All Raul cared about was making me the best fighter he could. So I was left untouched by most of it. But my mother ...” I rested my head on his shoulder and tightened my arms; tears streamed down my face as I listened. “My mother wasn’t so lucky. She suffered. But she also knew how to keep Raul happy, so she did what she had to do. To survive. To protect me. She gave me that will to fight for whatever I wanted. To never give up. And to protect whatever I love with everything I have.”

“Logan. I’m so sorry.”

“We got out. And I learned how to cook. I’d say that’s a damn good thing for you.”

I half-smiled into his shirt, and I could feel his chuckle rumble in his chest. “Mouse, eggs are getting cold.” He grabbed the plates, and we went to the stools and sat next to one another. “You’re dressed to ride.”

Despite knowing what I was wearing, I still looked down at myself. “Yeah. I’ll take Havoc out.”

“I want you with me today.”

“Well, ah I ...”

His fork dropped on the plate and made a loud clang. “No running.”

“I’m not.” And for the first time, I meant it.

He grabbed my chin and made me look at him. “Say it.”

“What?” I attempted to dislodge his hand, but he held tight.

“Tell me you’re not running.”

“I’m not running.”

He let me go and nodded as if satisfied with my answer. “You’re meeting my mom. Not today, but you are.”

“What?” Oh God.

“Your mom is no longer part of our lives, and I know you haven’t seen her in years. Now you’re getting my mom.”

I stiffened. “How did you know that?” But I knew the answer. Deck. It had to be Deck. In the two years Logan had been vacant from my life, Deck must have kept him informed. That’s why he checked up on me. Oh God, all this time, Logan had been watching out for me. It might explain the “buddy” thing, how close they appeared now. Deck and Logan had been talking for the last two years.

When I met his eyes, he knew I knew.

“Yeah, Eme. I kept tabs on you. Deck made certain you were good. I had to be sure you were looked after. Even if I couldn’t be with you. Even if this shit took me from you, I’d always know you were looked after. Now, go get changed. Wear jeans and a sexy white blouse. I’m taking you on my bike, we’re riding a while then we’re getting ice cream.”

It was then I let it go. All of the mistrust, the pain, the hurt. I let it all go, and I let Logan’s security wrap around my heart. He was mine, and I was his, and I wanted him to protect me. And it wasn’t because I was passive or weak or helpless. It was because he gave me everything I needed. A basic pure and raw need he fulfilled because he cared about me.

Logan must have sensed some of my epiphany, because he was there, reaching out his hand and taking me into his arms.

Logan was my avalanche.

He crashed into my life again and wiped everything bad between us away, until I was naked with nothing except acceptance for what happened to us. It wasn’t me anymore; it was us.

We spent the day on his bike, eating ice cream, and talking, We laughed. We went to the city and saw Georgie at the coffee shop then had dinner at the Brazen Head where we first ate when we were a new couple over two years ago.

Logan even kissed me outside, up against the wall like he’d done back then. We made it back to the farm record time, though Logan took care to obey most traffic laws. He’d once told me he liked to drive fast, but when I was with him, his cargo was more precious than his pleasure. We didn’t stop to chat to Kite and Ream sitting in the kitchen; instead, Logan dragged me upstairs and we made love—hot, hard, and fast. Then I fell asleep nested within his embrace.

I woke to Logan nuzzling my neck, his leg between mine as he slid his cheek across my back. His arm draped over my hip, fingers splaying on my stomach. I smiled as shivers trickled across my skin when his velvet tongue licked the sensitive part below my ear.

“Mouse?” The gravelly whispered words made my insides ache to be taken again. “I can feel your heart pounding.”

Linking my fingers with his, I pulled him closer. We were still naked, and his cock jerked against my butt. “Put it inside me, honey.”

He tensed.

I smiled.

Then he let my hand go, and his fingers traveled down my skin until he slid into the heat between my legs. “Shit, you’re wet.”

“I’m always wet for you.”

“Yeah. I love that.” He untangled our legs then in a slow languid motion, he pushed himself inside me.

I groaned and pushed back against him.

“Damn. You’re tight.”

It was a slow before-breakfast sex, not the hard desperate need of last night. Instead, he held me close, our bodies connected, awakening from sleep with a slow ride into stomach dropping ecstasy.

It was hot.

Logan kissed my neck, my back then held me up against him while murmuring sweet words of love in my ear. Each sensation was engraved in my mind, just like he was. We were set in stone.

The morning was lazy as we made love twice more, each time more intense than the last. I was raw and sore, but as soon as he touched me, I was ready for him again. There was no pretention, no worries, and I did as he wanted and left the thinking out of the bedroom.

By eleven we ambled from our nest, and I went to shower while Logan went to make some calls. He was on the phone when I came downstairs, hair still wet. I could see Ream and Kite outside by the pool talking.

Logan nodded to a mug sitting on the island then he walked to the sliding door that led out to the pool. He stepped out, and I sat on one of the stools and watched as he paced back and forth, his brows lowered and the crease around his eyes accentuated.

There was no doubt he was angry about something. He took long strides; his muscles flexing beneath his T-shirt, hair falling haphazardly across his forehead. I wanted to encase him in my embrace and take away whatever was riling him up.

He kicked one of the patio chairs, and it toppled over. He looked up. Saw me. Stared for three seconds then turned away and began pacing again.

When he came back inside he tossed his phone on the counter and came right for me. He sat on the bar stool, grabbed either side of my stool, and pulled me in close so my legs were between his. Then he rested his hands on either side of my outer thighs.

“You and me, we need time together. I’m trying to get that time.” He rubbed his hands up and down my thighs and a quiver shot through me. “But—”

“You’re giving me a but?” I raised my brows and tilted my head.

He huffed. “Smart ass.”

I grinned. The first time we talked about buts, he took my virginity.

Logan leaned in close and cupped my chin. “But I love smart ass Emily. She’s cute, and I want to spend the next sixty years listening to her.”

“Hmm, okay.” I leaned forward and went into him, my mouth coming down on his as I took what I’d gone without for far too long.

“I have to meet Deck this morning. We have that party in a week, and we need to run over a few things.”

“The party. Right.” Logan had mentioned something about a party a while ago.

“We’ve had one almost every year at Matt’s bar since the band started, but this year we’re having it here. Manager has organized a few producers to come hear us play.”

Oh. This was big for the band. “That’s great, Logan. Really great.”

He nodded.

“Maybe I’ll come with you and go hang with Georgie at the coffee shop while you talk to Deck.”

His face grew dark, and his hand tightened. “No.”

“Why not? I don’t have any horses coming today or clients, and I can ride Havoc later when it’s cooler. What else am I going to do without you here?”

“Lie by the pool. Go back to bed. Watch a movie. Just promise you won’t leave the farm. And no trail rides. I want you close by.”

“Logan?” Something wasn’t right. Why didn’t he want me going on a trail ride? Why close by? “What’s happening?”

“Nothing, Eme. I just worry when I’m not with you.”

I knew the second that he said the words that he was avoiding telling me something when his index finger tapped against my hip. “Don’t you trust me?”

“Jesus, it’s not that at all.

“Then tell me what’s going on.”

It felt like minutes before he spoke and I could see him contemplate ignoring me, by the way he avoided looking at me. Then he did and I wished he hadn’t because I knew what he was going to tell me wasn’t good. “Deck has been looking for Alfonzo. He was seen at the auction Raven was at. That’s how we found out he’s alive.”

I felt sick to my stomach. I’d assumed Alfonzo had died, if not when Logan had beaten him to a bloody pulp then when the compound was taken down.

Logan cupped my cheek. “Alfonzo has no clue about the farm. Deck’s men have made certain none of us have been followed here for weeks.”

“You’ve know about this for weeks?” Of course he had. That explained why he’d warned me to be careful, why Deck came to get them at the bar. Why Logan came with me to Rob’s farm to work with the racehorse. Or that could’ve been just as he said—to be with me.

“Weeks, yes. But Alfonzo wasn’t a threat to you. He was in New York up until yesterday. But, Deck’s man lost him.” Logan kissed me and it was long and slow, lingering. “I tried to cancel the party, but it’s not just me here. It’s the guys. They need this. Deck’s doing security and is confident that the farm is still safe. That might change though.”

I nodded. I was scared and nervous, but for some reason not as much as I thought I would be. I was more focused on the fact that Logan had trusted me to be able to handle this. Because I knew Logan and the reason he hadn’t told me up until now was because he didn’t want me feeling scared, or nervous.

“I guess I can stay inside and play with my vibrator.”

Logan’s brows lowered, and his eyes got that dark intensity. He was so sexy when he heard something he didn’t like. “That pussy doesn’t get fucked, touched, or played with without me. You need it, I’m happy to give it to you. But you, lying in bed playing by yourself—no.”

I wanted to laugh; instead, I hid my smile, because I thought laughing might be bad considering he looked genuinely angry. I liked that he wanted to be the one to look after my needs. It was hot, and I felt wanted, treasured. “Okay, honey.”

“I love it when you call me that. Cute and sweet.” He got up and walked over to the sink and started putting dishes into the dishwasher. “What are you going to do while I’m gone?”