Rush (Breathless #1)

Rush (Breathless #1) Page 45

“How could you do this?” Jace roared. “I knew it! You son of a bitch. I can’t believe you did this to her.”

“Jace, for God’s sake,” Gabe bit out. “Let me explain.”

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up! What the fuck is there to explain? Jesus Christ! How could you do this, Gabe? Is this what you want her thinking a relationship works like? Do you want her thinking that all your twisted desires are normal? What about when you get tired of her just like you get tired of every other woman? What then? You want her going to another man and seeking out something like this and have the asshole abuse her?”

Guilt swamped Gabe and he couldn’t meet Jace’s gaze. Every word, every accusation was like a well-aimed dart into his very soul. Weariness assailed him because so much of what Jace said was so very true. He had taken advantage of Mia. He’d pushed her. He’d taken over her life and he’d allowed her to endure unimaginable pain and humiliation. Not to mention the emotional stress of keeping something this huge from her only family.

God, he didn’t deserve her. Didn’t deserve her sweetness. He didn’t deserve to bathe in her sunshine and have his entire world lit up by her precious smile.

Everything having to do with her, he’d done wrong from the very start. That fucking contract. The secrecy. The way he’d treated Mia. And now he was responsible for a huge wedge between her and Jace, and Jace and himself. One that none of them may ever recover from.

Was it any wonder that Jace had gone ballistic? He put himself in Jace’s and Ash’s shoes for a brief moment and pictured what they’d walked in on. Imagined how it must have looked to them. Jace’s baby sister tied and bound, helpless while Gabe was using a crop on her ass. There’d been red welts all over her behind.

He cringed because there was no way for them to understand how it had really been. He recognized that he was damned in their eyes. He couldn’t even blame them. And he was ashamed that he’d put Mia in a position where anyone could ever think that she was being abused and ill-treated.

She deserved so much more. Someone who would treat her like a fucking princess, like the treasure she was. Not some twisted, fucked-up, self-absorbed bastard like him.

“How could you take advantage of her like this?” Jace raged. “You offer her a job and put her in a situation where she thinks she has to do whatever you want because you’re in a position of power over her? I could kill you for this. That you had no more respect for her, no more respect for our friendship. You aren’t the man I thought I knew, Gabe.”

Gabe closed his eyes, feeling sick to his soul. Jace was twisting the knife deeper, and the hell of it was that everything he said hit Gabe where he lived. He knew Jace was right. He had no defense. There was none.

Gabe knew he hadn’t treated her right. Hadn’t given her the respect she deserved. God, what if she had felt like she had to agree to everything because she worked for him, because his obsession with her was so heavy and intense that he gave her little choice in the matter? He’d taken over her life, her body. He’d consumed her until there was nothing left.

The very thing he’d been most afraid of—of him taking her until there was nothing left, and of him changing the very things about her that brought him the most pleasure—was happening.

She’d been deeply upset and traumatized by what had happened in Paris. And it had all been Gabe’s fault. And she’d initially agreed to it instead of calling a halt to it because she’d signed that fucking contract giving up all her rights.

She’d felt compelled to do it. She didn’t feel as though she had a choice. Yeah, he’d told her she could say no, but at what cost?

How much else had he forced on her?

“Swear to God, I’ll never forgive you for this,” Jace said hoarsely. “I’m getting her the hell out of here and then you stay the fuck away from her. Don’t you ever try to contact her again. You forget she even exists.”

Ash finished untying Mia, and then he bundled her in his arms before she could do or say anything. He ushered her into the bedroom where he wrapped one of Gabe’s bedsheets around her.

He fumbled through Gabe’s bathroom before finally coming out with a robe and then he secured it around her, tying the end in a double knot.

“Jesus, Mia, are you all right?” Ash demanded.

No, she wasn’t all right. It was a stupid question. She was appalled and humiliated that Ash and her brother had burst in unannounced to Gabe’s apartment, and seen her bound and naked. It was something out of her worst nightmares. And to make it worse, Jace was beating the crap out of Gabe and Gabe was doing nothing to fight back. Nothing to defend himself.

She forced herself to sit there and breathe deeply, to gather her composure when what she wanted to do was run to Gabe and then explain to Jace. Just like they’d planned to do when Jace returned home from his business trip. Just one more day. It was all they’d needed.

She was numb with shock. So numb that she couldn’t process the simplest thing. All she knew was that she had to get to Gabe. She had to end this. She had to fix this! God, she had to make everything right. All her fears had been realized and now two men who’d been best friends almost as long as she’d been alive were in a terrible fight.

Hot tears pricked her eyelids and she swallowed them back, fiercely determined to maintain her calm, but she was shaking violently. The last thing she wanted was for Ash and Jace to see her upset and think it was because of anything Gabe had done to her.

“Ash, I’m fine,” Mia said, her voice quavering. “I’d prefer you go to make sure they aren’t killing each other.”

Ash’s expression was dark. “I’m not stopping Jace if he wants to beat the shit out of Gabe. The bastard deserves it for what we walked in on. Jesus, Mia, are you crying? Did he hurt you? Did he force himself on you? Are you all right? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Mia hastily wiped at her face, horrified by the direction Ash was going with his questions. Did he and Jace truly believe that what was going on was nonconsensual? She supposed it could have looked that way, but surely they were familiar enough with Gabe’s preferences to know he regularly indulged in such things.

Or maybe it was because she was their baby sister and all they could see was her tied down naked to an ottoman and being flogged. She winced at the sight she must have presented. She could understand why Jace had lost his mind. Who wouldn’t if they’d walked in on what they’d witnessed?

But she had to make them understand.

She was on her feet, determined to go back into the living room, when Jace burst into the bedroom, his eyes blazing. He immediately came to her and enfolded her in his arms.

“Are you all right?” he demanded.

There was an edge to his voice that told her how shaken and angry he was. This was quickly spiraling out of control and she had no idea how to make it stop. How to make them understand. Emotions were high. There was no way for either of them to see reason.

“Jace, I’m fine,” she said, forcing her voice to remain level so she didn’t worsen the situation. “What did you do to Gabe?”

“Nothing he didn’t deserve,” Jace said darkly. “Come on. I’m getting you the hell out of here.”

He took her hand and dragged her toward the bedroom door. She had no choice but to follow him. And it was fine because she only wanted to go to Gabe.

As soon as they entered the living room, Mia saw Gabe sitting on the edge of the couch, his head buried in his hands. Concern filled her and she started to go to him, but Jace pulled her up short.

“We’re going, Mia,” he bit out.

She frowned and yanked her hand away. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Gabe looked up then, and his eyes were distant and vacant. Carefully encased in ice as he stared at her.

She hurried to Gabe and knelt in front of the couch where he sat. She reached up, tentatively touching his arm, but he flinched and shrugged away her hand.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly, dread filling her chest and her heart until it squeezed the breath right out of her.

“I’m fine,” he said in a stiff, formal voice.

“Talk to them,” she whispered. “Explain. I’m not leaving you, Gabe. We have to make them understand. You can’t let them think what they’re thinking. Make this right. We were going to tell him anyway. Make him understand.”

She was pleading with him, but what else could she do? Fear was making her desperate. Irrational. And Gabe was worth her pride. He was worth anything.

Gabe stiffly rose and put distance between himself and Mia. She pushed to her feet, confused by his mood and demeanor. Dread knotted her throat. She didn’t like the way he was looking at her. The resignation in his face. The acceptance. Acceptance of what? What had Jace said to him? What had Gabe said to Jace?

And then when Gabe spoke, her blood turned to ice. She froze, too stunned to do more than gape in astonishment.

“You should go,” he said in a curt voice. “It’s better this way. You were becoming too emotionally attached. I don’t want to hurt you. It’ll only be harder if we wait. A clean break will be easier and less…messy…later.”

“What the fuck?” Mia demanded, her shocked expletive exploding in the strained silence.

“Mia, let’s just go, honey,” Ash said in a gentle voice.

She could hear the pity in his tone, knew he felt sorry for her and that he thought she was making a complete fool of herself. They were seeing just another woman in Gabe’s life being rejected, cut loose. Shoved away so he could move on to someone else.

To hell with that. She wasn’t leaving without an explanation. Without trying to reach the man behind that coldly imposing mask. She knew the real Gabe. Had felt his warmth and tenderness. She knew he cared about her no matter the cluster fuck going on in this room right now.

She shook her head, her refusal adamant. “I’m not going anywhere until Gabe tells me what the hell all that bullshit he just spouted was about.”

Gabe looked right through her, his expression and eyes indifferent. Cold and remote. She was sure it was a look many a woman had received from him when it was time to part ways. It was a look that said, “I don’t want you anymore. Don’t embarrass yourself.”

Fuck that. She’d already sacrificed whatever pride she had over this man. There wasn’t anything much more embarrassing than having your brother walk in on you during bondage sex. There wasn’t a much worse way she could embarrass herself.

“Gabe?” she whispered, her voice strained as the knot grew larger in her throat.

She hated the pleading note to her voice. Hated that she couldn’t salvage her pride when it came to this man. She was precariously close to begging, and she didn’t care.

“It’s over, Mia. You knew it was only a matter of time. I told you in the beginning not to fall in love with me. That I didn’t want to hurt you. I should have ended it already. You’re becoming too involved and that just makes it worse in the long run. Go with Jace and forget me. You deserve better.”

“Bullshit,” Mia spat, startling all three men with the vehemence of her rebuke. “You’re a fucking coward, Gabe. You were the one getting in too deep, and you’re a goddamn liar if you try to deny it.”

“Mia,” Jace said softly.

She ignored him and focused all her rage on Gabe.

“I risked everything for you. I put it all on the line. It’s a damn shame you aren’t willing to do the same for me. One day you’re going to wake up and figure out that I was the best thing that ever happened to you and that you made the biggest fucking mistake of your life. And guess what, Gabe? It’s going to be too late. I won’t be there.”

Jace’s arm came around her, squeezing and holding her steady as he urged her away. She could barely see through her tears. She was so angry and upset that she was shaking. Jace murmured something in her ear and then Ash fell in on her other side as they guided her toward the elevator.

Halfway there she turned to see Gabe staring at her, that distant, vacant expression on his face, and it just pissed her off all the more.

She wiped at the tears trailing down her cheeks and then she lifted her chin, determined she wouldn’t shed another single tear over him. She’d thought he was worth it. Her pride. Everything. She was wrong.

“If you ever wake up and see the light and decide you want me back? You’re going to have to crawl.”

This time she turned and pulled free of Jace’s and Ash’s grasps. She walked away by her own choice and got into the elevator, not even looking back as the doors closed behind her.

She looked down, horrified that she was clad in only the robe Ash had wrapped her in.

“Don’t worry, Mia,” Jace said in a soothing voice. “I’ll have the car pull up to the very front. Ash and I will flank you and we’ll get out to the car quickly. I’ll take you to my place.”