Reckless (Renegades #1)

Reckless (Renegades #1) Page 19

“Lex.” He groaned her name. “You’re too good to be true.”

“No,” she said, her tone deflating. “Unfortunately, I’m not. But it’s nice to have the opportunity to show my better side.”

He didn’t know what that meant, but he didn’t want to talk about it over the phone anymore. And he didn’t want to argue to get her here. He wanted to look into her eyes, wanted to see her smile, wanted to watch pleasure wash over her face. But even though they’d already been so very intimate, not seeing each other kept a personal distance. There was something unique and connecting about a person’s face. No two people looked exactly alike, after all. And expressions told a lot about what was happening on the inside, in the private spaces.

Jax didn’t know if that was why she didn’t want him to see her, or if she thought he’d recognize her, or if she had some kind of deformity or scar she didn’t want to show. But he knew that if she wasn’t going to change her mind about seeing him in LA, he didn’t need her face haunting him. Especially given these strange, intense feelings he’d developed for her.

He’d get her here, then decide if he should try to chip away at the last barrier between them or not.

“The door’s unlocked, bathroom light is the only one on, door is open halfway. Don’t even think about negotiating,” he said before she could speak. “This morning was…amazing. Exciting, hot, mind-blowing, but I’d like to at least be able to see shadows of your gorgeous body.”

He pressed his lips together, closed his eyes, and waited.

Lexi hesitated. “Okay. I’ll be right up.”

She disconnected, and Jax lowered the phone, staring at the floor. Okay? Christ, he didn’t know what to expect from this woman anymore. He set his phone on the dresser and moved around the suite, turning off lights, opening the door a crack. The curtains were open, but the sheers were closed, filtering the city lights. Jax pulled out a chair from the dining room table and sat. He rested his elbows on his thighs, threaded his fingers, and rubbed them over his mouth as he stared at the door and waited.

Lexi tossed the phone on the bed and rolled to her feet, sliding off Jax’s jacket at the same time. She couldn’t keep the smile from her face or the excitement from sweeping through her. When she turned to toss the jacket behind her, the sketch pad and the dozens of images she’d been drawing nonstop all day came into view.

She knew Jax had been the key to unlock the door on her creativity and had it flowing so freely she couldn’t sketch ideas fast enough. Or, rather, sex with Jax. The fact that the images were all of erotic designs and sexy lingerie had to be some mental block she’d put up against the new urgency to design those bridal gowns for the Luxe Bridal Show.

She forced the whole sordid thought from her mind, unwilling to let that sweeping disappointment ruin her night with Jax.

Lexi tossed down the jacket, pulled on the lace shelf bra and matching string bikini she’d bought—all in deep crimson. She’d realized how stupid it was to buy something so pretty when Jax wouldn’t get to see much of it. But he’d get the effect, and that was the important part, along with the way it made her feel beautiful and sexy and made her want to do erotic things to Jax. Just dressing and thinking of him touching her hiked her heart rate.

Her sex was pounding by the time she slid her feet into heels and slipped her arms back into his jacket. She grabbed the massage oil and slid it into the jacket pocket. With her hair in a hasty bun, she grabbed her key card and her phone. The jacket was twice her size, but the short length hit high on her thighs, barely covering her butt cheeks. She found herself slouching from her walk to and from the elevator in case she ran into anyone in the hallway.

Then she was outside Jax’s door. A whip of panic snapped through her, followed by a stark, surrealistic moment of What the hell am I doing? This isn’t me.

But it was. It was a part of her she loved but had rarely been able to express. Never found a man who’d made her feel the desire to express it the way Jax did.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and unzipped the jacket. Straightening to her full height, Lexi shook out her shoulders and arms to relax. The jacket fell open, exposing her cleavage, belly button, and sweet spot.

She tapped lightly on Jax’s door and pushed it back. Not much more light filled the space than it had that morning, and Lexi relaxed a little. She moved slowly into the room tonight. Much slower than this morning. She knew Jax was watching, and she let the hallway light outline her silhouette so he knew just how little she was wearing.

By the time she closed the door, her heart hammered in her chest. Her lungs squeezed too tight for her to gather enough air, and her head went light. Lexi leaned back against the door to get her balance and her bearings. The room was so silent she could have believed she was alone.

“Tell me”—Jax’s voice came from somewhere deep in the room, somewhere behind the sofa. It was rough, strained—“you have something on besides my jacket, Lex.”

Lexi smiled. Excitement surged in her chest, and she closed her eyes. “Why?”

A sound came from his throat. Something needy, lusty. Pained.

She pushed herself two steps forward, out of the darkness of the short hallway leading into the suite’s living room. With one hand pressed to the wall, she used the other to ease aside one edge of his jacket, giving him a better peek. “Would it make you feel better to know I have on a bra and panties? Ones I bought today, while I was thinking of you?”

From where she stood, she could make out his shadow. He was sitting in a chair, leaning forward, arms resting on his knees. He’d left the curtains open, and the lights of the city turned the sheers a soft blush.

“You’ve…” he started, his voice thick, “…modeled.”

The excitement twisted on her and pinched. Lexi’s past included many men who she’d come to learn had been with her for the sole purpose of telling buddies they were sleeping with a model. She’d never wanted or enjoyed the superficial lifestyle, but it had paid well. A handful of years modeling on the side had given Lexi enough cash to launch Lexi LaCroix Designs.

“I have,” she admitted. “A long time ago. How could you tell?”

“The way you move, the way you stand.”

Lexi swallowed and asked him what she’d asked in a different way at the airport. “Have you modeled?”

He laughed. The sound slid over her like a touch, and need rose to the surface. “You didn’t get a good look at me, did you? I’m thinking your lights-off idea is a good one. I…dated a few models.”

She echoed his laugh. “Models don’t date unattractive men, Jax. And I have fifteen-fifteen vision. Rest assured, your looks may have been an initial draw, but they aren’t the reason I’m in your room dressed in next to nothing, ready to do anything you want until my plane leaves in the morning.”

Jax’s breath left his chest in a heavy whoosh, followed by silence. Lexi could swear the air in the room grew heavy. Thick. Tight. And not in a good way.

The shadow of Jax’s head lowered, and a muffled curse filtered through the room.

Lexi’s stomach pinched. She stepped forward with an urge to fix—mend whatever tear she’d just made between them.

“Then why?” His frustrated question stopped her. The hurt anger in his voice chilled all the heat in her belly.

He stood and came toward her. Lexi fell back a step. As soon as he rounded the arm of the sofa, the distant light from the bathroom whispered over him. He was shirtless, jeans unfastened and hanging low on his hips. His hair lay flat, pulled off his face, probably wet from the shower. The dim light hit on his straight nose, angled jaw, broad forehead. The hell he wasn’t model quality.

And that body… God, he was fucking built. The shadows hinted at ridges of muscle from his shoulders to his belly, some of which she’d already felt, but seeing it… The hunger she’d suffered all day tried to break through her fear.

“Why?” he asked again, standing close enough to touch. “Why are you here, dressed in next to nothing, ready to do anything I want until your plane leaves in the morning, Lexi?”

Her stomach clenched. But his tone wasn’t angry as she’d thought. He was hurt. Suspicious. Jaded.

Lexi tried to search his expression but couldn’t see any more than his flexing jaw. She swallowed back regret and reached up. Ran her thumb over the rigid, pulsating surface. “What happened today? You didn’t question me this morning.”

“I was reminded that you and I seem to have a similar problem—having people want us for reasons other than what they give up front.”

Lexi remembered his friend’s words at the airport. “It’s not a good time for him.” Yet she’d started a flirtation, accepted an invitation, then tossed in her own stupid mind games on the guy. Guilt tainted her excitement. She was always trying to please everyone else, always trying to anticipate what a client would want, need, love, and give it to her. But she hadn’t done that here. She’d only been thinking about what she wanted, not how it might affect him.

“I’m sorry. That’s…never a good feeling. But that is the beauty of anonymity, right? People can’t want something they don’t know you have.”

He didn’t immediately respond, then asked, “What happened at your meeting?”

“I’d really rather not talk about it, but since I can tell it’s important to you…” She shifted on her feet, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. “It…didn’t go as smoothly as I’d hoped.” She let out a breath, all the frustration and worry and disappointment flooding back in. “I was under the impression I was specifically chosen for this partnership. But I found out at lunch, while the designer really wants me to join her, she has a board of directors who are interested in a couple of other top designers. They’ve decided to turn this into a competition, which doesn’t please me at all. Not because I can’t win, because I know I can—”

She stopped suddenly, realizing how conceited that sounded. “I mean…I’m not saying that because I’m full of myself. I know because I’ve participated in so many to get where I am, that I know how they work, I know the ins and outs. I know what judges like to see, how they score, how to present pieces in a unique way. I know how to win competitions the way some people know how to take tests.

“Anyway, I’m already operating at my limit. I don’t have the bandwidth to stretch myself even thinner.” She could feel the stress rising again. Just talking about it made a strap of steel tighten around her chest, forcing pressure to her head. “But if I don’t take this opportunity, I’ll continue to be overwhelmed.”

This wasn’t a good time for either of them. “I’m sorry, Jax. I…have too much going on to be a good…” A good what? A good fuck?

Jesus, she was twisting her own mind into knots. She shoved her hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Do you…want me to go?”