Heartless (Parasol Protectorate #4)

Heartless (Parasol Protectorate #4) Page 28

Immortals saluted the full moon with blood, some in crystal glasses, others by tearing into meat and howling. Aside from the ancient Greeks and their long-ago offerings, there was no blood for ghosts. Not anymore.

The ghost could hear herself crying. Not the herself that still remembered what being herself meant. Some other part of her, the part that was fading into aether.

She wished she had studied more on the nature of the supernatural and less on the nature of the technological world. She wished her passions had taken her into a learning that would allow her to tolerate the sensation of disanimus with dignity. But there was no dignity in death.

And she was alone. Perhaps that was not so bad, under such ignominious circumstances?

Still, where were the scientific pamphlets that taught a woman how to listen to herself die?

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Wherein Hairmuffs Become All the Rage

Lady Maccon accompanied her husband home to Woolsey Castle and saw him safely locked away in its well-fortified dungeons. He shared a cell with Biffy, both of them tearing into the walls of their impenetrable prison—and into each other. They would do no permanent damage, but still Alexia could not watch. As with most things in life, Lady Maccon preferred the civilized exterior to the dark underbelly (with the exception of pork products, of course).

“This is an odd world I have become part of, Rumpet.” The Woolsey butler was helping her back to the carriage to return to town. Woolsey’s formal coach was fitted out with full-moon regalia: ribbons tied to the top rails, crest newly polished, a matched set of parade bays hitched to the front. Lady Maccon gave the nose of one a pat. She liked the bays; they were steady, sensible horses with high prances and the general temperaments of gormless newts. “And I used to think werewolves were such simple, basic creatures.”

“In some ways, madam, but they are also immortal. Dealing with eternity requires a certain complexity of spirit.” The butler handed her up into the carriage.

“Why, Rumpet, have you been hiding the soul of a philosopher under that efficacious exterior?”

“What butler isn’t, madam?”

“Good point.” Lady Maccon signaled the coachman to drive on.

London at full moon was a different city entirely from any other time of the month. For this one night, out of default or desire, the vampires ruled. Hives throughout England hosted parties, but the biggest occurred in London proper. Roves were at liberty to roam undisciplined and unmonitored. It wasn’t that the werewolves necessarily kept vampire largess in check, just that with guaranteed werewolf absence, the vampires had the autonomy to be that little bit more toothsome than normal.

It was also an excuse for the daylight folk to dance the night away. Or, in the case of the conservatives who wanted nothing to do with immortals and their ilk, to dirigible the night away. Most of the Giffard fleet was afloat at full moon, running short-haul tourist jaunts above the city. Some were rented out for private parties; others simply took advantage of the moonlight and the festivities to run special offers at high expense for the fashionable to display their latest floating attire. A few airships were outfitted with firework display apparatuses, shooting off colorful explosions of red and yellow sparkles, like hundreds of shooting stars, into the sky.

It was always a challenging night for BUR. Several core staff were werewolves—three from Woolsey, two from HM Growlers, and one new loner. A number of clavigers also held commissions. All were conspicuous by their absence. Top that off with the vampire agents away enjoying the revels, and full moon left the Bureau understaffed and unhappy about it. There were a few contract ghosts paying very close attention to what went on during the extravagances, but they couldn’t exactly provide physical enforcement if such became necessary. That left the mortal agents at the fore during moon time, spearheaded by the likes of Haverbink—capable, tough, working-class men with a taste for danger and an ear for trouble. Of course, the potentate’s drones were also out and about, but they couldn’t be trusted to report their findings to BUR, even if the rumors were true and Lord Maccon was sleeping in Lord Akeldama’s closet.

Lady Maccon liked full moon. There was something irrepressibly celebratory about it. London came alive with excitement and dark ancient mysteries. Admittedly, there were fangs and blood and equally acrimonious things, but full moon also brought with it blood-sausage pies, candy sugar wolves, and other tasty treats. Lady Maccon was easily ruled by her stomach into approval of any event. It was the poor quality of the comestibles, not the company, that caused her to continually refuse invitation to most public assembly rooms. The rest of the ton thought this snobbish and approved. They did not realize it was solely based on the shabbiness of the provisions.

Apart from the food and the pleasant aspect of dirigibles silhouetted against the moon, Alexia also enjoyed the fact that a night ruled by vampires meant everyone was in their best looks and tip-top manners. While her own taste was, frankly, pedestrian, Lady Maccon did enjoy seeing what all the peacocks had arranged to drape themselves with. In the better parts of London, one could run into almost anything: the latest evening gowns from Paris, floating dresses to the extremes of practicality from the Americas, and the fullest, most complex cravat ties imaginable. One could witness a veritable cornucopia of visual delights merely by driving through the crowded streets.

If Alexia had not been so enthralled, with her face pressed firmly to the carriage window, she would have missed the porcupine. But she was and so she didn’t.

She banged on the roof of the carriage with her parasol, sharp and loud. “Halt!”

The coachman pulled the bays up, right there in the middle of the busy thoroughfare—aristocracy had its privileges and Woolsey’s carriage was crested.

Lady Maccon lifted up the speaking tube she’d recently had installed and belled through to the box.

The coachman picked up his receiver. “Yes, madam?”

“Follow that porcupine!”

“Certainly, madam.” In his years of service to Lord Maccon, the poor man had received far more ludicrous requests.

The carriage lurched to the side, causing Alexia to drop her end of the tube, which swung from its heavy metal cord and whacked her in the arm. There was no high-speed chase—for which Alexia was grateful, as she’d had quite enough of those to last a lifetime, thank you very much!—because the porcupine, which happened to be on a lead like a little dog, was moving at a sedate pace often interrupted by curious bystanders. The creature was obviously out for a stroll for that purpose, to attract interest and attention on a night practically designed for such displays of eccentricity and ostentation.

Eventually, traffic allowed the carriage to pull a little ahead of the porcupine and stop. The coachman came around and let Lady Maccon down in time for her to accost the owner.

“Ah, pardon me, madam,” said Lady Maccon to the young lady in charge of the porcupine before realizing that they were already acquainted. “Why, Miss Dair!”

“Goodness me, Lady Maccon? Should you be in public in your condition? You are looking most encumbered.” The vampire drone seemed genuinely surprised to see her.

“But it is a lovely evening to be out, as you obviously realize, Miss Dair.”

“Indeed, the moon has got his cravat on.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, what on earth are you doing strolling the streets of London with a zombie porcupine?”

“Why shouldn’t I be enjoying the company of my new pet?” Miss Mabel Dair, renowned actress, was exactly the type of original female to elect to keep a pet porcupine, but Lady Maccon would have none of it.

“New pet, indeed! A whole herd of those nasty creatures attacked me and my husband only recently.”

The actress paused, a look of defensiveness suffusing her pretty face. “Perhaps the inside of your carriage, Lady Maccon, might be a better place for this conversation?”

Mabel Dair boasted a stylish figure, if a little round, with an arrangement of curves that cemented her appeal firmly among a specific class of fashionable gentlemen. And, if the rumors were to be believed, one very fashionable woman, Countess Nadasdy. Miss Dair had risen to prominence and become the reigning darling of the West End via the Westminster Hive’s unflagging support. She’d engaged in no less than three continental tours and garnered a considerable amount of popularity in the colonies as well. She had copious blond curls done up in high piled coques of the very latest style, and her face was pleasingly sweet. She gave off an entirely unwarranted air of innocence, for Miss Dair was a woman of strong character—an excellent rider, a dab hand at cards, and a personal friend to the countess as well as being her drone. She also had very good taste in evening dresses. A woman not to be taken lightly, porcupine or no.

She and her pet climbed inside the Woolsey carriage, leaving her escort to shadow them on the street. Lady Maccon turned her attention from the actress to the porcupine. It looked very like those that had attacked her husband, which is to say, not exactly alive.

“An undead porcupine,” insisted Lady Maccon with conviction.

“Ah, yes, I see how you might make that kind of assessment, but no. That is not possible, as it was never alive.” The actress settled herself in the facing seat next to Alexia, smoothing out the silk skirts of her green gown as she did so.

“It can’t be mechanical. I tried a magnetic disruption emission on them and nothing resulted.”

“Oh, did you? Well, it’s worth knowing Albert here has been field tested against one of the best. I should like to see the emitter you used.”

“Yes, I wager you would.” Alexia made no move to show her anything whatsoever about her parasol or its armament. She gestured at the porcupine, which had settled into a kind of crouch at the actress’s feet. “May I?”

Mabel Dair considered the request. “If you must.” Then she bent and lifted the little creature up to the bench between them so that Lady Maccon could examine it at her leisure.

At such close range, it became clear rather quickly that there was no way it had been, or ever would be, alive. It was a construct of some kind, its inner workings covered over in skin, fur, and spines that made it look like a porcupine.

“I thought mechanimals were outlawed.”

“This is not a mechanimal.”

“It has been made without any ferric parts? Inspired, indeed.” Lady Maccon was duly impressed. She was no Madame Lefoux, to be able to understand the construct’s makeup fully in the space of only a few minutes’ examination, but she was well enough versed in scientific literature to know she held some very advanced technology in her grasp.

“But why use such skill merely to create a pet?”

Mabel Dair shrugged, an elegant little movement, refined so as not to disturb the fall of her gown. “The extermination mandate has been retracted. Your relocation and adoption agreement was quite a masterly maneuver in the great game. My mistress was impressed. Not that I am admitting to anything, of course, but those first porcupines were highly experimental. They were not as effective as we had hoped, so she has let me make a pet of one of the few we have left.”

“Ingenious technology.” Lady Maccon continued her examination of the little creature. There were small clips behind each of its ears that, when pressed, popped open to reveal some of the inner workings in the brain area.

“I supposed it would have been far more dangerous had it been a real African zombie.” She tapped at one of the faux bones. “Remarkable. I take it the hive has filed all the appropriate licensing with the patent office? Must be one of the countess’s pet scientists, since I haven’t read anything from the Royal Society on the subject. Is it designed specifically to withstand a magnetic disruption?” Then she noticed that the porcupine had ceramic and wooden moving parts held together with string and sinew, greased with some kind of dark waxy liquid. Alexia had misinterpreted this as blood, but closer inspection revealed it to be of exactly the same type as that found in the Hypocras Club’s automaton. “Oh, dear. Did you get hold of some of the Hypocras Club’s reports? I thought BUR put a lockdown on those.”

“Only you, Lady Maccon, would draw such a connection.” Miss Dair was beginning to look a little nervous.

At that juncture, it occurred to Lady Maccon to ask, “Why are you in my carriage, Miss Dair?”

The actress recovered her poise. “Ah, yes, well, Lady Maccon, there has been a breach in social etiquette, and it was only when you accosted me in the street that I realized it. I know the countess would want me to rectify the situation. You must believe, we understood that on full-moon nights you were otherwise occupied or we should never have neglected you.”

“What are you on about?”

“This.” Miss Dair handed Alexia an embossed invitation to a full-moon party taking place later that night.