Heartless (Parasol Protectorate #4)

Heartless (Parasol Protectorate #4) Page 17

He brought it over to her and held it up, nodding. “Excellent palette for your coloring, my little Italian pastry. Did our Biffy help you order this?” Without waiting for confirmation, he continued his previous discussion with studied casualness. “Your Professor Lyall is one of those.”

“One of the indifferent ones?”

“Ah, no, petal, one of those who has no particular preferences.”

“And Boots?” Alexia held very still as the vampire moved around behind her, very much like a real maid, and began lacing up the back of the skirt.

“Boots is another one.”

Lady Maccon thought she understood what he was trying to say but was determined to ensure things were as clear as possible. Lord Akeldama may enjoy prevarications and euphemisms, but no one had ever accused Alexia of being coy. “Are you telling me, my lord, that Boots enjoys the company of both men and women?”

The vampire came back around to the front and cocked his head to one side, as though more interested in the fit of the jacket than their conversation. “I know, peculiar of him, isn’t it, my little pigeon? But I and mine, possibly more than anyone else in London, do not presume to judge the predilections of others.” He bent forward to tidy the fall of the bow at Alexia’s neck. Then he had her sit while he fussed with stockings.

“Well, I should never venture to question your assessment of Boots’s taste, but really, you must be mistaken in Professor Lyall’s nature. He’s in the military, for goodness’ sake!”

“I take it you have heard very little on the subject of Her Majesty’s Royal Navy?” The vampire moved on to her shoes. Her feet were so swollen she no longer fit into any of her boots, much to his disgust. “Imagine wearing a walking dress with dancing slippers!”

“Well, it’s not as though I walk all that much anymore. But, my dear lord, I can’t believe it. Not Professor Lyall. You must misconstrue.”

Lord Akeldama became motionless, his head bent over one of her kid slippers. “Oh, little lilac bush, I know I do not.”

Lady Maccon stilled herself, frowning down at the blond head bent so diligently at her feet. “I have never seen him favor anyone of either sex. I had thought it was a part of being Beta, to love the pack at the expense of every other romance. Not that I have met many Betas. It is not a personality trait, then? Has he not always been so reticent?”

Lord Akeldama stood and came back behind her, beginning to toy with her hair.

“You arrange a lady’s ensemble rather well, for an aristocrat. Don’t you, my lord?”

“We all came from somewhere originally, buttercup, even us vampires. Of course, your Professor Lyall and I have never run in the same circles, and until you came into our lives, I must admit I never paid him much mind.” The vampire frowned and a look of genuine disfavor crossed his beautiful face. “This may yet prove to be a rather catastrophic oversight. As bad as that brief period wherein I became enamored of a lime-green overcoat.” He shuddered at the unpleasantness of the memory.

“Surely it cannot be so awful as all that. It is only Professor Lyall of whom we speak.”

“Exactly, my plum puff. So few of us can be so easily dismissed as an only. I’ve done some inquiring. They say he never quite recovered from a broken heart.”

Alexia frowned. “Oh, do they?”

“An embarrassing affliction in an immortal, brokenheartedness, wouldn’t you say? Least of all in a man of sense and dignity.”

Lady Maccon gave her friend a sharp look through the looking glass as he pinned one of her curls into place. “No, I should say instead poor Professor Lyall.”

Lord Akeldama finished with her hair. “There!” he pronounced with a flourish. He held up a hand mirror for her to look at the back. “I haven’t our lovely Biffy’s skill with the curling tongs, so a simple updo will have to suffice. I apologize for such ineptitude. I should add one or two rosettes or a fresh flower, just here.”

“Oh, simple is absolutely splendid, and anything is better than what I could do for myself. I shall take your advice about the flower, of course.”

The vampire nodded, took the mirror back, and placed it on the armoire. “And?.?.?.?how is Biffy?” The very flatness in the vampire’s words alerted Alexia to the importance of this oh-so-casual question.

“He is still upset at having to give up snuff.” Lord Akeldama smiled only slightly at her attempted lightheartedness, so Alexia adopted his serious tone. “Not as well as he could be. My husband thinks, and I am inclined to agree with him, there is something holding him back. Pitiable, for Biffy did not ask for the lupine afterlife, but he must learn to accept it.”

Lord Akeldama’s perfect mouth twisted slightly.

“I am given to understand there is a matter of control. He must learn to master the shift rather than allow it to master him. Until he does, there are all sorts of restrictions. He cannot go out during the day or he may be permanently damaged, he must be kept near silver for simply ages around the moon, and no sweet basil within smelling distance. It’s all quite tragic.”

Lord Akeldama stepped back and then spoke as though she had never answered his question. “Ah, well, I must bid you adieu, my dearest girl. I have my own toilette to see to. There is a most licentious music hall show opening this very evening, and I have a mind to attend in full regalia.” He made his way toward the door in the sweeping manner much favored by an operatic villain when exiting stage left.

Lady Maccon was not fooled.

“My lord.” Alexia’s voice was soft and gentle, or as soft and as gentle as she could make it, being not a woman generally in command of such feminine wiles. “On our subject of brokenheartedness, should I now be saying poor Lord Akeldama?”

The vampire left without dignifying that with a reply.

Lady Maccon lowered the balcony drawbridge and made her way into Woolsey’s town home and down the stairs. Walking a gangplank when one cannot see one’s feet was a tad nerve-racking, but Alexia Maccon was a woman of forthright character and firm principle, not to be defeated by a mere fat belly. She encountered Felicity, obviously recently returned from one of her unmentionable jaunts, for she was once more attired in knitwear. They had no chance for idle conversation, thank goodness, for the house was in a veritable uproar.

Still, Felicity would not allow Alexia to pass without some commentary. “Sister! What is that tremendous ruckus in the back parlor?”

“Felicity, you did know, when you prevailed upon my hospitality, that this was the den of werewolves, did you not?”

“Yes, but to behave like animals? Surely that’s not polite.”

Lady Maccon narrowed her eyes, tilted her head, and gave her sister a look and the time to contemplate what she had just said.

Felicity sputtered. “You mean to say? Changed! Here! In town? How unspeakably shameful!” She turned to walk with her sister back down the stairs. “May I see?”

Lady Maccon wondered if she did not prefer the cuttingly nasty Felicity of previous incarnations.

“No, you most certainly may not! Really, what has gotten into you of late? You are not at all yourself.”

“Is it so unlikely that I should wish to improve myself?”

Alexia fingered the dull gray shawl draped over her sister’s faded dress. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Felicity huffed in annoyance. “I must go change for supper.”

Lady Maccon looked her up and down, emitting a lip curl that was, quite frankly, remarkably Felicity-like. Sometimes, although not too often, there came an indication that they were, indeed, related. “Yes, I do believe you must.”

Felicity wiggled her shoulders and emitted the “Oh, la,” of an insult being shaken off, and proceeded back up to the best bedroom, which she had, naturally, commandeered as her own.

Lady Maccon waddled on down, one careful stair at a time. The urgency of the noises below made her increasingly annoyed by her own inability to move with any kind of alacrity. Really this is simply too ridiculous! I’m trapped by my own body. She attained the main hall only to find that the door to the back parlor was locked and shaking. Professor Lyall and two clavigers were milling about unhappily, crowding the passageway with masculine concern.

“Why aren’t you at supper?” demanded Lady Maccon imperiously. “I am certain Floote and the staff have gone to substantial lengths to provide.”

Everyone stilled and looked at her.

“Go on, go eat,” she said to them, as though they were small children or pet dogs.

Professor Lyall raised a quizzical brow at her.

Lady Maccon lowered her voice. “Biffy wouldn’t want anyone to see.”

“Ah.” Then the Beta, obedient to his mistress’s will, followed his fellows into the dining room, shutting the door behind him.

Lady Maccon let herself into the back parlor. Which was an absolute mess. Lord Maccon, now a massive brindled wolf—quite handsome, Alexia always thought, even in lupine form—was squared off against a younger, lankier animal. Biffy’s fur was a deep chocolate color, much the same as his hair, except for his stomach and up to the ruff, which was oxblood. His eyes were yellow and crazed.

Lord Maccon barked at his wife authoritatively. Lord Maccon was always barking at his wife, the form of his body mattering not one jot.

Alexia dismissed the commanding tone. “Yes, yes, but you must admit I can be quite useful under such circumstances as these, even in my less-than-nimble state.”

Lord Maccon growled in evident annoyance.

Biffy caught Lady Maccon’s scent and turned instinctively to hurl himself at her, a new threat. The earl twisted to place his own body in the way. The slighter wolf charged full tilt into his Alpha. Biffy reeled, shaking his head and whining. Lord Maccon feinted toward him, teeth nipping, backing him flush against the now mostly destroyed chaise.

“Oh, Conall, look at this room!” Lady Maccon was displeased. The place was in chaos—furniture overturned, drapes shredded, and one of the cook’s precious journals had been bitten into and slobbered all over.

“Oh, doesn’t that just take the biscuit! That’s evidence, that is.” Alexia’s hand was to her breast in distress. “Oh, dear, I suppose I ought to have kept it with me.” She couldn’t really blame Biffy, of course, but it was vexing. She toddled her way toward him, stripping off her gloves.

Biffy continued to snap and slather in her direction, growling in uncontrollable rage, the cursed monster of folklore made flesh and fur before her.

Alexia tsked at him. “Really, Biffy, must you?” Then she used her best Lady Maccon voice. “Behave! What kind of conduct is this for a gentleman!”

Alexia was Alpha, too, and the commanding tone sunk in. Biffy mellowed his snapping frenzy. Some measure of sense entered his yellow eyes. Lord Maccon seized the opportunity and charged, clamping down hard on the other wolf’s neck, bearing him down to the floor by sheer superiority of mass.

Lady Maccon approached and looked down at the tableau. “It’s no good, Conall. I can’t bend down to touch him without falling over.”

Her husband let out a snort of amusement. Then, with a casual flick of his head, he hurled the young wolf upward. A surprised Biffy landed on his back on the chaise lounge, scrambling to right himself and attack once more.

Lady Maccon grabbed his tail. He jerked in surprise, enough to overbalance her so that she fell with an oof onto the chaise next to him. In that same instant, the power of her preternatural touch forced him back into human form. Even as Biffy’s tail retreated, Alexia reached for a paw with her other hand.

In very short order, a naked Biffy lay sprawled in a most undignified way upon the chaise lounge with his foot firmly grasped by his mistress. Since contact with Alexia made him mortal, with all the physical responses such a state entailed, it was not unsurprising to find him blushing crimson in humiliation.

Alexia, while sympathetic to his plight, maintained her grasp and noted, with scientific detachment, that his blush went all the way down. Remarkable.

Her husband’s growl drew her attention back to him. He, too, was back in his human form and naked.

“What?”

“Stop looking at him. He’s bare.”

“So are you, husband.”

“Yes, well, you can look at me all you like.”

“Yes, well. Oh.” Lady Maccon clutched suddenly at her stomach with her free hand.

Conall’s mild jealousy translated instantly to overbearing solicitude. “Alexia! Are you ailing? Oh, you shouldna hae come in here! It’s too dangerous. You fell.”

Biffy sat up, also concerned. He tried to extract his ankle, but Lady Maccon refused to let go. “My lady, what is wrong?”