Glamorama

Glamorama Page 116

"What do you mean?" Felix sighs. "Oh god, I'm so tired."

"But this is the wrong photo," I squeal giddily. "That's not the couple I had dinner with last night. These people are not the Wallaces. Do you understand, Felix? I-don't-know-these-people."

"But that's the picture, Victor," Felix says. "That's you."

"Yes, that's me," I say. "But who are these people, Felix?" For emphasis I'm running my hand over the photograph. "I mean, what is this? What the hell's going on?"

"Deluded youth," he sighs.

"Where, Felix? Where?" I ask, whirling around. "I don't see anyone under sixty on this goddamn boat."

Felix motions to the bartender for another.

"Felix," I say, breathing in. "I think I'm scared."

"You should be, but why?"

"A lot of reasons," I whisper.

"A certain amount of hardship is to be expected in this life."

"I know, I know, I need to accept the bad if I want to accept the good-oh god, Felix, just shut the f**k up and look at the f**king photo."

Felix's interest rises slightly as he holds the photo closer to his face and the atmosphere surrounding the bar is smoky and vague and the piano player continues with the mournful rendition of "Anything Goes" while various extras playing soused nannies, croupiers and beverage personnel listen, rapt, and I focus on the silence surrounding the music and try to get the bartender's attention.

"It's been altered," Felix says, clearing his throat.

"How do you know?"

"You should be able to see this girl's face." He points at Marina.

"Yeah, but I think she turned away when the flash went off."

"No," Felix says. "She didn't."

"How can you tell?"

"The position of her neck-see, here?" Felix runs a finger along Marina's throat. "The position of her neck suggests she was looking at the camera. Someone else has been-oh, how do you say?-superimposed over this girl." Felix pauses, then his eyes move to the Wallaces. "I assume the same thing happened with this couple," he says, squinting at the photo. "A rather crude job, actually." Felix sighs, placing the photo back on the bar. "But hell, who knows? Maybe you were really drunk and feeling rather friendly so you joined another table."

I'm shaking my head. "I'd never sit with those people," I'm saying. "Look at that woman's hair." I order an Absolut-and-cranberry from the bartender-with lime, I stress-and when he brings it I drink it quickly, but it totally fails to relax me.

Maybe I just need to get laid," I sigh.

Felix starts giggling. "You will." He keeps giggling. "Oh, you will."

"Spare me the giggling, Felix."

"Haven't you read the new draft?" he's asking.

"I think the script keeps changing, Felix," I say. "I don't think this is what I signed on for."

"You're really not accustomed to disappointment, are you, Victor?"

"I think something bad happened to that girl," I'm saying meekly. "To... Marina."

"You think errors are being made?" Felix asks, taking a long swallow of brandy, moving one snifter aside for another. "I think people can know too much."

"I just... I just... think there's been some kind of- oh man-like emergency and..." My voice trails off. I stare over at the piano player, at the extras sitting at tables, on couches, nodding thoughtfully to the music. "And... I just think no one's responding-oh man."

"You need, I think, to find a more fruitful and harmonious way to live."

"I'm on the cover of YouthQuake magazine," I exclaim. "What in god's name are you talking about?"

"Perhaps the two are unrelated."

"Tell me I'm not being wrongheaded and foolish," I plead. "Tell me this isn't an 'extraneous matter,' Felix. I mean, I'm a fairly easygoing person.

"I know, I know," Felix says sympathetically, inhaling on a cigarette. "It's intolerable, eh?"

Finally I ask, "What about Palakon? How is he involved in this?"

"Who is Palakon?" Felix asks.

"Palakon," I sigh. "The guy who got me on this f**king boat."

Felix stays quiet, then stubs the cigarette out. "I don't know anyone named Palakon."

While signaling the bartender for another drink, I mutter, annoyed, "What?"