Fever (Breathless #2)

Fever (Breathless #2) Page 26

He looked discomfited. He sighed again and then ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. It fell back over his forehead and this time she did reach up to smooth it. His gaze softened when she touched him, almost as if she’d given him much-needed reassurance.

“The first thing you have to understand is that Ash and I . . .” He broke off. “Jesus, there’s no way to say this without it sounding all sorts of fucked up.”

“Just say it,” she urged. “I’m not going to be angry. How could I be? You don’t hold my past against me. How could I hold yours against you?”

“You’re so damn sweet,” Jace murmured. “I don’t how I got so lucky. When I think what would have happened if I hadn’t seen you that night. If I hadn’t found you at the shelter . . . It guts me, Bethany.”

Her eyes widened and her heart pounded as his words washed over her, warm and so very sweet. She had to be dreaming. Never had she imagined meeting a man like Jace. He was so honest. So straightforward. He wasn’t afraid to share his feelings. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable.

He averted his gaze, took a deep breath and plunged ahead.

“Ash and I shared women. A lot of women. As in, it was a lot more normal for us to hook up with the same woman than it was for either of us to go solo. They weren’t always one-night stands either.”

“Like me,” she said softly.

His eyes narrowed. “No. Not like you at all. You were different from the very first.”

“Go on,” she urged, not wanting to distract him from their conversation.

“The thing is, we had threesomes a lot. I’m no saint, Bethany, and I damn sure haven’t lived as a monk. And like Ash told you that first night, we like control. In all aspects. It’s a kink. It’s a turn-on. But it goes deeper than that, at least for me. And maybe that’s why I never really got into a serious one-on-one relationship with a woman. As long as it was confined to a kinky threesome, it seemed to fit better. It came off more as a game and no one took it very seriously. But for me, it is serious. It’s what I like. It’s what I need. And if you want or need an explanation as to why, I’m sorry, but I can’t give that to you. It just is. I’ve never met a woman who made me consider suppressing that part of myself. Until . . . you.”

Her body tensed in alarm, her protest immediate. “Jace, I don’t want you to be someone else for me.”

“But you don’t know what you’re getting into,” he said in a low voice.

She shifted up on the couch, relieved they were finally getting somewhere. She pushed up, leaning closer to him, staring intently into his eyes.

“So tell me. Lay it out for me. How do you know what I can or can’t accept if you won’t tell me what your wants and needs are?”

“Because I’m afraid you won’t want the same things I do,” he admitted.

“I think I might surprise you, Jace,” she said in a low voice. “You know about my . . . past. I told you how things were.”

Jace’s hand cupped her cheek, his eyes suddenly fierce. “Don’t, baby. There’s no need to rehash it all. I don’t like how it hurts you, and it just reinforces in your mind that you somehow aren’t good enough for me. That’s bullshit.”

She smiled, warmed by the intensity in his tone.

“What I was going to say is that not all of that sex was vanilla. The truth is, I think I tried it all. You aren’t going to shock me. And I need to know what you expect so that I know if I can be that woman you need.”

He leaned forward until their foreheads touched. His finger traced a line over the curve of her cheek and then down to feather over her lips.

“I like a woman to be completely under my control. There is something enticing about having a woman dependent solely on me for her care, for her pleasure, for everything. I like to pamper and spoil them but I’m also demanding. The thing is, I knew a long time ago that if I ever did enter a permanent relationship my control would extend out of the bedroom and into all aspects of our life together. There aren’t a lot of women willing to sign on for that. At least, not a woman who’s in it for the right reasons.”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “Right reasons?”

“Money,” he said grimly. “When you have as much money as I do, there are many women willing to put up with anything for what it buys them. That’s not the woman I want in my life or in my bed on a permanent basis. I want a woman who wants the same things that I do. Me in control. Me taking care of her. Me acting out my kinks with her. I want her to want me. Not my damn money, and I don’t want her to suffer a relationship she finds abhorrent because the price is right.”

“And those kinks are?”

He pulled back slightly but she caught his shoulders, forcing him to look at her.

“Tell me, Jace. You’re not going to shock me.”

“I like pain,” he said quietly. “Inflicting pain.”

He looked uneasy as he studied her for her reaction and she was careful not to give him one. Instead, she waited for what he’d say next.

When she didn’t respond, he went on, his shoulders relaxing just a bit, almost as if he’d expected her to react strongly to his admission.

“I’m not saying I abuse women. God. It makes me sick to even imagine you thinking that about me. I sound like a hypocrite. I’m violently protective of the women in my care and yet I like to inflict pain.”

“How so?”

She was still speaking calmly and he was studying her hard as if watching for her to get up and run screaming from the apartment at any time.

“Crops. Paddles. Belts. I like rough sex. I like role-playing. I like bondage. Sometimes I feel like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde because there are times when I worship the woman I’m with. Savor. Touch, kiss, make love to. And other times? I want it my way. Any way I want. Tied up, helpless. Ass reddened by my spanking. Sometimes the sex is all about her and her orgasm. But sometimes it’s all about mine.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she said calmly.

“Do you understand that I would be in absolute control over every aspect of our relationship, Bethany? Do you really get that? That every decision will be made by me. Where we eat, what we eat, where we go, where you go. When we have sex. When we don’t have sex. What you wear. Who you talk to. Are you getting it yet? I’m a controlling bastard and that won’t change. Are you really willing to sign on for something like that?”

“And if I’m not?” she asked, studying him every bit as intently as he studied her.

“Then I’ll accept whatever you can give me,” he said quietly.

She sucked in her breath until she was light-headed. Oh my God. After all he’d said. After all he’d explained. He’d push down all that made him who he was just to have her.

Tears stung and she sucked in a deeper breath than before as she blinked them away. It was no use. They burned until they finally spilled over onto her cheeks. Jace looked panicked, his expression dissolving into one of self-loathing.

“Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry,” he whispered harshly. “We’ll work it out. I swear, it’ll be okay.”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand. What’s wrong? Why are you upset? It doesn’t have to be that way. I was just trying to make you understand me.”

She surged forward, taking his mouth with hers. He seemed stunned but didn’t push her away. Their mouths melted hot, tongues clashing wetly.

“Shut up. Just shut up and kiss me.”

He groaned. “God, baby.”

She ripped at her clothing, suddenly desperate to have nothing between them. She ripped at his until finally he helped her and their clothes went flying, this way and that, hitting the floor, the back of the couch and the coffee table.

She kissed him hungrily, her mouth moving hotly over his. She allowed all her desperation into her kiss, her hands as they roamed over his hard body. His cock was rigid between them, sandwiched tightly between their bellies. She reached down to grasp it even as she arched over him, wanting him inside her.

It registered that it was he who was supposed to be in control. He who was supposed to call the shots. But at this moment she didn’t care. She only knew she wanted him, had to seal this special connection and make it something more permanent. She had to show him, with more than words, that she wanted what he could give her. Not just wanted but needed.

She fit him to her opening and didn’t hesitate, sliding down and engulfing him in one motion. The shock of his entry made her gasp and his hands were suddenly at her hips, alleviating the pressure by lifting upward.

“Baby, no, don’t hurt yourself.”

His voice was strained and it was evident just how much he was holding back. Oh hell no. That wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted it all. Everything he had to give her. And she’d settle for nothing less.

“You’ll never hurt me,” she whispered. “Not in a way I don’t want, anyway.”

He chuckled lightly and then slid his hands to her ass, cupping as she rose up to take him all over again. This time he didn’t hold her back and she took all of him, to the balls, her ass coming to rest on his lap.

“Jesus, you feel so fucking amazing,” he breathed.

“I just want you to sit back and enjoy it,” she murmured.

His eyes glittered as he stared into hers. Then he loosened his hold and leaned back against the couch, his body going slack.

“I can do that.”

His hands skated up her body to cup her breasts and she moaned as she rose and fell again, taking him deep. She leaned into him, following him back as she pressed her body to his, trapping his hands between them.

He was big inside her, large enough that it made movement difficult, but she reveled in the tightness. Each thrust was sweet agony as he pushed through her swollen pussy. Each time his balls pushed against her ass, she gasped and closed her eyes. She was so close and they’d only just begun.

“Don’t hold back, baby. I want to watch you come. You’re so fucking beautiful, I hurt just looking at you.”

“Not without you,” she gasped out.

“Oh, I’m there. I was there the minute that sweet pussy slid down my dick.”

Needing no further encouragement, she quickened her pace, rising up and over him to give her better leverage. He palmed her breasts and then put his mouth to one nipple, sucking strongly. Then he dropped his hands back to her ass, squeezing as she shuddered against him.

“I want this ass next.” The words rumbled gruffly from his chest. “Can’t wait to get deep inside it. I didn’t have your ass that first night. I was too focused on your pussy. Didn’t want anyone else there but me. But now it’s mine and I want to fuck it.”

“Jace!”

His erotic words splintered over her, pushing her that last little bit toward her release. Her entire body bowed and then spasmed. She couldn’t even hold herself up. She needn’t have worried. Jace’s arms came around her, holding her as he took over, pushing himself up and into her, faster, harder until she was sobbing his name.

He let out a low growl. His grip was punishing. She’d wear bruises later and she didn’t care. This was what she wanted. His possession.

She shattered. There, in his arms, him powering into her body, she went to pieces. It was nearly painful. So intense that the room fuzzed around her, her vision going dim.

She dropped her head to his shoulder, panting for breath as her body convulsed and seized. He powered into her, pushing rapidly, the smack of flesh meeting flesh loud in her ears. Her entire body shook and still he thrust as if he were trying to plant himself in the deepest recesses of her soul.

Then he cried out. Her name. Bethany. It was sweet in her ears, brushing over her skin like the finest silk. Her name. She belonged to him.

He went limp, gathering her even closer until she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t complain. Didn’t say a single word as she lay sprawled across his body. He kissed her neck, her ear, and then nuzzled into her hair. It took her a moment to realize he was whispering endearments. Telling her how beautiful she was and how overcome he was that she was his, that she accepted what he wanted from her.

She curled her arms around his neck, holding on just as tightly as he held her.

“I want to stay,” she whispered.

He went rigid against her and then he sagged as if relieved. He kissed her again, moving one of his hands to push the hair from her face. Then he pulled her back so she could meet his gaze. His eyes were intense. Nearly black as he stared at her.

“You’re staying, Bethany. You’re mine now. I still don’t know if you fully know what you’ve agreed to but I’m not giving you the opportunity to back out now. You belong to me. I’m not giving you back.”

She put her hand to his cheek as he’d done to her so many times. Offering comfort and reassurance. He leaned forward and brushed his mouth across hers. Once, twice, and a third time, as if he couldn’t pull himself away.