Blood Solstice (The Tale of Lunarmorte #3)

Blood Solstice (The Tale of Lunarmorte #3) Page 31

“No hello?” He asked straightening up. His eyes were narrowed and challenging. Full of dislike.

She shrugged defensively. “What do you want?”

He laughed low and grimly. “What do I want she asks. That’s funny.”

Her stomach churned, not liking his tone of voice at all. They hadn’t spoken in weeks, and before when they had, she still had all that anger keeping her nice and detached. Now she was just a vulnerable mess. An easy target.

“What’s funny?” she asked quietly, trying to infuse some belligerence into her tone.

He moved slowly, predatorily towards her and she felt herself back up unconsciously. “You. Asking me what I want? Not really something that’s crossed your mind these last few weeks.”

Jaeden didn’t reply. There was nothing she could say. She had abandoned him when he needed her the most.

“What?” He mocked. “No witty comeback, no insult to cut me to the quick?”

“Ry-”

“How about telling me you don’t love me anymore… ‘cause I gotta tell you I really enjoyed that the first time round.”

“I-”

“No. Forget about me for a minute, why don’t we talk about the fact you haven’t spoken to your mother since her husband died-”

She growled, “My father!”

Ryder glared at her and smacked a hand off his forehead. “Oh, stupid me, I forgot Jaeden was the only one to lose someone that day!”

Oh crap, she groaned feeling frustrated tears burn her throat and eyes. “Ryder, please don-”

“Ryder, don’t what?” he spat. “Finally give you hell for all your bullshit!”

Jaeden squirmed, wishing the ground would swallow her whole. Her mate had finally snapped and he wanted to have it out, here and now. She just didn’t think she could handle it all. So she did what she’d been good at lately and began to walk past him toward the hotel. A frightening snarl ripped out from the back of his throat and his hand shot out, gripping her by the t-shirt and propelling her back with force into a tree. He loomed over in the darkness, his amber eyes bright with fury as he pinned her there.

“You’re not going anywhere until I’m finished.” He cursed. “I lost my mother. Julia lost her husband. Mal and Finn lost their parents. And Draven and Kade lost their kids, for Gaia’s sakes.” His hot breath rushed over her face and she couldn’t help but tremble under the heat of his anger. “I am sorry about Dimitri. I know how close you were to one another, but that does not give you the right to treat the people who still care about you like dirt.”

“I ne-”

“I’m not done!” He roared and she flinched back, truly scared of him now. This was a Ryder she had never encountered before. “This might be the last real conversation you and I ever have and I want you to know exactly what I think about you.”

Oh goddess, no, please no, let it end, let it end, please let me be deaf, please let me be deaf.

Ryder took that moment to take a deep breath, clearly trying to control himself. He stilled, and his eyes washed over her face as if he were tallying up her features. “I never thought you would ever be this selfish. I never thought you would ever be this cruel or hateful. And I never ever thought there would come a day, and so soon into our mating, that I would say I couldn’t trust you-” he broke off, his words catching in his throat.

Jaeden felt her lips begin to tremble. She had lost him. She had really done it now. This wasn’t how the mating was supposed to be. How could she and Caia mess it up this badly?

Ryder sighed wearily and dropped his arms from the cage he had made around her, taking a step back. “Talk to your mother, Jaeden. She needs you.”

The tears spilled down her cheeks and through the blur she saw him pause, watching the salty show of emotion with surprised alert. When he didn’t make a move towards her, Jae was humiliated by the unexpected and uncontrolled sob that burst out from deep within her chest. Still he made no move towards her, but he wasn’t leaving. And she took comfort in the way he clenched his fists as if stopping himself from going to her. After a moment she pulled in a shuddering breath. “And you?” she managed. “Do you Ryder?”

He hissed and then replied, “Do I what?”

“Still need me?”

Instead of replying he began to turn away. “Just talk to your mom, OK.”

Panic floored her and she tripped a few steps towards him. “Ryder, wait.”

“No,” he threw over his shoulder as he walked away from her.

Just say it! There’s nothing left to lose.

“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry-” she began to cry again for real, all the tears she had kept locked up since the death of her father. She slid to the ground, burying her shame-faced head in her hands, trying unsuccessfully to control the rib-cracking sobs taking over her body.

Then like the relief of sun after days of relentless rain, warm, familiar arms encircled her, drawing her into an equally strong and familiar chest. Ryder tightened his arms around her, stroking her hair and rocking her as she let it all out. At the feel of him, eventually Jaeden’s cries eased. As his scent flood her senses she began to shudder for another reason. She wanted him. She wanted him to make it all go away. Slowly, Jae lifted her head up to look at him, his face inches above her. She winced inwardly at the uncertain look in his eyes as he gazed down at her. Panicking at the thought of never being able to erase that look, Jaeden scrambled to cradle his face in her hands. “Ryder,” she gasped, pulling herself even closer to him. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it, I swear. I was just so angry, I-”

“We were all angry, Jaeden,” he said through clenched teeth, but his eyes betrayed his desire as they drew down to her mouth.

Jae took heart in that. “Ryder.” She locked onto his gaze, resolute. “I love you. I never stopped loving you… I was just so-”

“Just so what?” he demanded, shaking her by the shoulders. “What, Jaeden? What was so damn important that it was worth putting me through the worst weeks of my life?”

Explain it, Jae, explain, it’s your only shot at keeping him.

“My dad knew me so well,” she whispered against his lips. “Losing him was like losing a part of my own soul.”

“Jae-”

“Let me finish, please.” She looked up into his eyes. Gods, he looked so determined to not forgive her. “But with you it’s like you are my soul. You’re such a huge part of me that I don’t think I’ll survive losing you. I thought if I could keep all the people I cared about at a distance it might not hurt so much if anything were to happen to them. The thought of losing you, Ryder… I won’t come back from that. I love you so much it terrifies me-”

Her words were cut off as he crushed her mouth beneath his own, his kiss demanding and punishing, taking everything she had. And she gave it to him, kissing him back with as much abandon and need. Ryder pressed her backwards, sending her crashing onto her back on the damp ground. She barely even noticed they were outside as he continued to kiss her as if this were their last moment on earth. His large body pressed upon hers, brushing across her deliciously as he braced his arms on either side of her head, keeping most of his weight off of her. Jaeden growled into his mouth, sliding her hands into his hair and bringing him down on top of her with one hard tug. That seemed to sever any control he might have had. She fairly sizzled with fragile excitement as he pulled away from their kiss long enough to tug his t-shirt up over his head and then relieve her of hers and her bra. The feel of his rough hands on her over-heated skin drove her over the edge and Jaeden reached for him again, whispering love words against his skin as her hands did some roaming of their own, her lips pressing hot kisses to his throat and jaw. Ryder groaned under her assault and she felt him undoing the buttons on her jeans. Desire for her mate flooded up from the pit of her belly, flushing her skin to the roots of her hair.

“Ryder,” she panted.

They had only consummated their mating once, and part of the frustration and animosity between them these last few weeks had been their need for one another. They still wanted each other, even when they were struggling to like each other.

Naked beneath him, Jaeden urged Ryder’s jeans off which he did happily, and then enveloped him in her embrace, her legs wrapping around his waist.

“I love you,” he whispered as he gazed down at her. “Do you love me?”

That he even had to ask. A tear slid down her cheek, aching for having hurt him so badly, and she pressed a sweet kiss against his lips. “I will always love you. Never doubt it, no matter what stupid thing I say or do.”

He groaned and began to make love to her, a slow gentle love that caught fire and grew frenzied as if they were both afraid the other would disappear.

As they strove to catch their breath Ryder pulled her closer into the warmth of his body, gazing up through the branches of the trees to the sky that had darkened to midnight blue above them. He smelled of Jaeden and now she smelled of him. As soon as they walked into the hotel the pack would know what they had been up to, but he didn’t care. He was just glad to have her back. And he did have her back, that he was sure of. Life with Jaeden was always going to be interesting, but he had never doubted she loved him no matter what she said. They were mates, blessed by the gods themselves. She had been right before. He was as much a part of her as she was of him. He knew she was angry and he knew exactly what she’d been doing when she pushed him away like that. So, ever the strategist, he’d decided to back off for a while, letting her cool down on her own. That morning at breakfast he had seen the vulnerability there in her eyes for the first time; the guilt, the realization of what she had been doing to them all. It was the best time to bombard her, make her think she was going to lose him.

Worked like a charm.

And he wasn’t even going to feel bad about manipulating her because his mate was tucked up nice and safe in his arms just where she should be.