Ashes (The Kindred #2)

Ashes (The Kindred #2) Page 10

All of her pent up, nervous energy, deflated from her as fear consumed her. She slid limply to the floor, dragging her legs up against her chest and hugging them tight as she dropped her chin on top of them.

Devon released the last fox he’d caught. He watched it stagger away, trying to regain its balance from the loss of blood it had sustained. Though he tried to keep the animals alive when he fed from them, the first two foxes, three rabbits, and one coyote he had captured had not survived. He had been too unstable, and full of bloodlust, when he had seized hold of them. He barely even remembered draining them dry, but he clearly recalled their limp bodies left brokenly on the forest floor.

And he was ashamed.

Though it was far better that it was animals, and not Cassie he was draining dry because he had been that close today. A shudder ran through him as he recalled exactly how close he had been to ravishing her in every way, and not caring who watched. He could not allow that to happen again. He could not be that unstable around her again. It would not end well.

But when she had run her tongue across his teeth, showing no fear of him as her excitement blazed forth, he had nearly unraveled completely. He shuddered, the memory rousing his bloodlust and desire once more. She was far too innocent to know what she was doing to him, but she was going to be his undoing.

Their relationship had come to a crossroads much faster than he had expected. Rising slowly, he wiped the dirt from his jeans, watching as the fox disappeared. He had glutted himself tonight, stuffing himself to the point of near bursting in the hopes that it would keep him from desiring her blood as fiercely. He didn’t think it would work.

His head fell back as he stared up at the thick canopies of oaks and maples. Dropping his head back down, he used all of his senses to search the dark night. He could feel nothing out there except for a deer, and a pack of coyotes. Julian was being quiet, staying low.

It was very uncharacteristic. Once Julian made his presence known, he liked to keep it known. The fact that he was staying quiet was more than a little unsettling. He was planning something, and Devon didn’t like it. He had to find him, and soon. As long as Julian was out there, Cassie was in danger.

Turning away, he blended swiftly into the woods, bracing himself for what was about to come. He raced to Cassie’s house, moving swiftly through the thick forest, easily dodging any obstacles in his way. Reaching her house, he stopped at the edge of the forest to study the graceful Cape house before him. The weathered grey shingles, and light blue shutters, were bright in the light of the full moon.

Cassie’s room was dark, but the TV was flashing in the window pane. He knew that she was still awake; he could feel her up there, lost, worried; confused. He hated himself even more for putting her through this, for leaving her to stew while he gorged himself on blood.

Climbing swiftly up the tree, he paused at the edge of her window, taking her in. She sat upon the bed; her long legs were drawn up to her chest, her golden hair cascaded around her shoulders in thick waves. The delicate beauty of her features was highlighted within the flickering light of the TV. His chest constricted as he studied her, he was amazed and charmed by the effect she had over him. An effect that only increased as time went by.

She turned toward him, her startling eyes widened, her rosebud mouth parted. Relief filled her as she leapt gracefully to her feet. “Devon.”

Her soft whisper washed over him, as did her vast relief and aching hurt. She came slowly toward him as if afraid she would scare him away. Hoping to ease some of her fears, he slid gracefully through the window. Tears bloomed in her eyes, but she bat them rapidly back as she watched him, her uncertainty palpable.

“Are you ok?” He could only manage a brisk nod, finding it difficult to think in her presence. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head, looking lost. “I didn’t know what else to do; I thought you were going to kill him.”

Devon clearly recalled that scene in the cafeteria, the rage that had suffused him, the need to destroy the person hurting her. He also recalled her kiss, her taste, her sweetness. She was the only one that could have gotten through to him at that time. He didn’t like the way she had put herself in danger though, stepping between a vampire and its prey was even worse than stepping between a charging bull and its target. But she was right; he would have killed Mark if she hadn’t intervened.

She had been lucky that he had not turned his rage on her. But then again, in a way he had. The uncontrollable rage had turned into uncontrollable passion instead. Devon shuddered to think about what he could have done to her, how he could have hurt her and not even realized it until he had been well sated on her.

“I was.” She blinked in surprise at his flat words. “You stopped me from hurting him, but you can’t put yourself in danger like that again.”

“Danger?” she asked in surprise.

He nodded briskly. “Yes. Never step between a vampire and their prey. You could get hurt.”

She frowned fiercely at him, her elegant eyebrows drawing sharply together. “No matter what you might think, I know that you would never hurt me Devon.”

She had more faith in him than he did, but then again, she did not know the thoughts that ran through his mind. The things that he wanted to do to her. With her. If she knew any of it, she would not have so much faith in him; in fact she would probably run screaming in fear. Her faith was misplaced, she did not know that, but he did.

She took a step closer, but he held up his hand, warding her off even though it killed him. All he wanted was her gentle, soothing touch. “Cassie, we need to talk.”

Her frown deepened, terror flashed through her eyes.

CHAPTER 7

Cassie’s heart beat rapidly in her tight chest. It took everything she had to keep breathing. Devon studied her, his eyes yearning, yet distant. She shifted slightly, bracing herself for the worst, knowing that something bad was coming. He didn’t even want her to touch him. She could smell, and feel, the vast amounts of blood that he had consumed, the power that coursed through him now. He had drunk so much that she actually picked up on the metallic scent of it for the first time.

And he had done it so that he could prepare himself to come and see her. That did not sit well with her, nor did it bode well. Anxiety clenched fiercely at her, her knees began to tremble slightly. She knew that she was not going to like what he had to say. She needed to sit before she fell down.

Sliding limply down, she perched uneasily on the edge of her bed, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. “What is it?” she asked quietly, her voice strangled and tight.

His emerald eyes were bright in the darkened room. He was half hidden in the shadows that seemed to caress and enshroud his hard, toned body. Though the night was a little chilly, he wore only a t-shirt that clung to his muscles, emphasizing his washboard abs and firm chest. Despite her fear, Cassie was still mesmerized and thrilled by him.

Swallowing heavily she forced her mind away from her wandering thoughts. His eyes sparked, a bright gleam came into them as he seemed to pick up on the direction of her thoughts. Then he shook his head, clearly trying to bring himself back to their conversation.

An owl hooted outside, its soft cry loud in the still night. The crickets had retreated, the loss of their soft chirrups leaving the night oddly empty. He shifted slightly, the shadows moving over him, caressing him. For the first time she realized how much he truly belonged to the night, and the darkness. For the first time she saw just how different they were.

Tears burned the backs of her eyes again, but she refused to shed them. Not yet anyway. She still did not know where this was going.

He moved slowly forward, his eyes intent upon her as he stopped just feet away. Though the distance between them was small, it suddenly felt like a vast chasm to her. There would be no breeching it with a simple word or touch. And she knew that it was her fault it existed at all.

“I want you Cassie.” Her mouth went dry, her heart hammered so loudly she was certain that he could hear it. Excitement sprang forth, spreading rapidly through her whole body, burning through her veins. “But I can’t control myself around you.”

She swallowed again, afraid she would choke on the lump that was lodged in her throat. “Yes you can,” she whispered.

He sighed softly, leaning slightly back on his heels as his gaze darted briefly toward the ceiling. Shaking his head, his black hair fell forward across his sculpted face. “Yes, somewhat,” he admitted slowly. “But not enough, and everyday gets harder for me. Looking at you, smelling you, having tasted your blood, all of it is a fierce temptation that is getting harder and harder to resist. Every day, every second, I want more.”

She was barely able to breathe, let alone find any words for him. She wanted to be with him, terribly, but she was not ready for that step yet. She knew that was crazy, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she wasn’t ready for what he wanted. Not yet anyway. And there was still so much she didn’t know about him, like just exactly how many women there had been over the past seven hundred years.

On second thought, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to know that at all. It was far too intimidating and scary for her to think about. Not to mention there was already a lot on her plate without adding another heaping to it.

“I’m not ready for that yet,” she whispered, feeling awkward and so very young and stupid as she issued the words. She was an idiot, so inexperienced compared to him. Heat crept through her cheeks as he stared at her; she hated the almost pitying look in his eyes. Clasping her hands tightly, her gaze darted to the window, unable to meet his stare any longer.

“I know that Cassie,” he said gently. “And I will never push you into doing anything that you are not ready for, but it’s more than just sex. I want all of you.” Despite her intentions not to, her eyes darted back to him, her forehead furrowed in confusion. “I want your blood also. I want to taste you and feel you and have you fill me.”

Despite the fear his words aroused, excitement also slammed hard through her. What he was describing sent her into a tailspin of confusion and need. She shook her head, trying to regain control of her spiraling feelings. She knew she should be afraid of what he was saying, she should be completely against it considering what she was; to have a vampire feeding from her should be the last thing in the world that she wanted.

But wanted it she did. Desperately.

“I also want to change you.”

Horror slammed through her, knocking away all of her desire. Nausea twisted in her stomach, the blood froze in her veins, leaving her hollow and cold. Mouth dropping, she tried to find words, but none would come out. Change her? No, never, she could never be what he was. She could never be a vampire, hunting animals, living on blood.

Living in the dark, being a monster, being one of the things that had killed her parents was not something that she could do. Ever.

Bile rose in her throat. She wanted to stand up, but her legs would not support her. His gaze was fierce on her, but he could not hide the brief flicker of hurt that flashed through his eyes. “Cassie…”

She held up her hand, not sure that she could hear anymore. She needed time to digest what he was saying to her now, never mind hearing anymore. “I can’t,” she managed to choke out. “I can’t.”

He closed his eyes, folding his hands behind his back as he rocked on his heels. He opened his eyes slowly, the stark pain in them nearly breaking her heart. Tears boiled up in her eyes, the anguish radiating from him was almost more than she could bear.

Taking a deep breath, he took a step closer to her, kneeling down so that they were on the same eye level. His gaze was steady on hers, hard, intense. “I either change you, or I leave when this is over,” he said softly.

Terror tore through her; she lurched to her feet, falling before him on the carpet. Reaching out, she grasped hold of him, her fingers digging into his shoulders, fear threatening to choke her. “You can’t,” she whispered, shaking her head forcefully. “You can’t.”

He gently brushed away the tears that spilled rapidly down her face. Tears she hadn’t even known she was shedding. “If I stay, I may change you against your will Cassie. I am unstable around you. You shake me to the very core of my being, rattle me; unravel me. I don’t want to hurt you Cassie, it’s the last thing in the world that I want to do, but I very well might.”

“No,” she breathed. “Never. You would never hurt me.”

He sighed, his hand wrapped around the back of her head, his fingers gently stroked her skull. “Today in the cafeteria…”

“I won’t do anything like that again!”

“So we don’t touch, we don’t kiss, we keep our distance? What kind of a relationship is that Cassie? You deserve so much better, you deserve someone who can love you completely without having to fear that they might snap and turn you into a monster.”